One of my many weaknesses is that I am a fan of Eurovision. Sometimes I worry how much I enjoy it. It’s partly sentimental - memories of Bucks Fizz winning in 1981 remain a highlight from my youth. It’s musical, sparkly, hilarious, culturally enlightening and often whacky. I understand that to many people Eurovision is a ridiculous waste of time and money, but then again aren’t so many fun things in life?
For the past 25 years I’ve watched and waited for the old home country to emerge from Eurovision victorious. Most recently hoping even just to get a point or two on the scoreboard, whether from ever-loving friends like Malta or super-successful neighbours Ireland. Year after year it’s declined in terms of the U.K.‘s song choice, performance, commitment and scoring. Year after year me, Mr Patrick and the Paddy children have gathered optimistically with our Eurovision sweepstake, scorecards, Eurovision-bingo, baked goods and a positive mental attitude to laugh at, love, mock, be bored in parts by and cheer through this never-ending “show of unity”. The judges who try to edge a bit more screen time than they’re entitled to, suggestive milkmaids, wildly swaying singers on bendy sticks, circular pianos, Engelbert Humperdinck. This year was the first time in ages that the family couldn’t be together and so I presumed it would come and go fairly unnoticed. How wrong could I be?
It started with the kids (one in Turkey, one in Leeds, one in Throckley and one in Cramlington) trading opinions and observations on our family chat. Despite being at a gig we joined in the remote banter about Wolves with Bananas from Norway and the uber-fabulous Mika presenting. Once we got home from the gig the exchanges took on a whole new level of excitement as the voting results began to come through - what was this strange phenomenon, countries giving the U.K. entry points, and good ones at that? France, Ukraine and Germany among others awarded it top marks, which was truly remarkable! The U.K. representative Sam Ryder was grinning joyfully and actually being given screen time, beamed across the world sending out peace, love and thanks rather than skulking about waiting for the ground to open up and swallow what remains of a tenuous music career. Graham Norton was beside himself with excitement as were we. I ran upstairs excitedly to retrieve a confetti cannon left over from New Year. Alas, it was not to be as we were soon to discover - the public vote favoured Ukraine, understandably given the events of this year. A squillion points to them and we were done for, however there is never any shame in second place (I know, I’ve been there so many times myself). Sam Ryder can hold his gorgeous long-haired head high and know that he changed the trajectory for the U.K.‘s fortunes in Eurovision after a quarter a century of despair. What I wouldn’t give to write a song that’s performed at Eurovision - though I would struggle to cope if it got the dreaded “nil points”. But that’s the risk, who dares wins, carpe diem, Creme de La Menthe! Putting your neck on the metaphorical chopping block is never easy, rejection is tough and near victory sometimes even tougher. But without folk who are prepared to do that in the name of entertainment it would be a dull old world. Well done to Ukraine, what an achievement and what an emotional event it will be next year if/when they succeed in staging Eurovision as 2022 victors. We’ve already booked it into our diaries for next year and the confetti cannon will remain in tact until then. Unless of course the England football team manages a result in Qatar...
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