Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof. Go on, I’m sure you’ve often felt that way - I know I have and like Pharrell I often ruminate on the subject of happiness. Levels of human happiness seem dangerously low right now and dropping, with unhappiness and anxiety extremely commonplace. There’s not too many folk looking like they’ve got their roof off even the tiniest bit. What’s making so many people so unhappy? From general dissatisfaction to the point of acute anxiety and stress, panic attacks and genuine fear of social situations I really want to understand what’s driving that, partly out of curiosity and also because where there’s a problem there’s usually an answer to be found. There might be ways to alleviate mass unhappiness
and you never know unless you ask.
As Lloyd Grossman used to say in Through the Keyhole, let’s examine the evidence.
I headed to the gym earlier this week. Bearing in mind exercise is one of the ways in which we release positive endorphins, proper feel-good stuff. In the changing rooms two ladies were clearly unhappy, complaining bitterly and at length about the swimming-costume tumble drier being out of action for the third month running. It makes life so difficult! Also, the gym wasn’t lending towels out like it used to (due to Covid I guess) which was making them even more cross. Once in the pool, two other women were having an enthusiastic moan about the lifeguard. They raged that he was an idiot who talked too much and had moved one of them out of the fast lane into the middle. Ouch. In the sauna an angry little man kept storming in and out every 30 seconds or so muttering and swearing about the steam room being closed as it was in the process of being deep-cleaned. The chatty lifeguard asked me if my husband had told me about the arguments from the previous evening in the slow lane. Apparently one woman had announced loudly that they were all swimming in the wrong direction and began going against the flow of traffic, causing all manner of confusion and anger.
My son went back to school after isolating for a week to find they had changed the seating pattern in class so that he’s now sat with someone he doesn’t much get along with. He’s not too happy and doesn’t understand the reason behind it as he had been on a table where they all worked well together. Two weeks earlier two classes became three and some groups of friends were split up at playtime causing much genuine unhappiness. They’ve also stopped them playing football and from going on the grass. It’s quite a bit of change and instability in a SATS year just before they make the big scary move up to high school. My husband commented “at least it gets them used to it for when they go to work” which is a good point. Any time at work you find yourself in a team where people are getting along and working well together on something you can guarantee there’ll be a reorganisation and the team will be dismantled. Such are the powers that be with their passion for constant change.
I’ve been helping a friend and my daughter with job-hunting this week, both of whom have found the process pretty stressful and nerve-wracking. According to the news there is a bounty of job vacancies but it’s tricky when you don’t drive, have other commitments such as coursework or caring responsibilities and are competing with thousands of others to have their online CV picked out like some
sort of golden ticket. Another friend is selling her house but sadly the sale fell through, just as everything was boxed up ready to go, causing much anxiety. Hopefully happiness is just round the corner, if she can successfully make it past the solicitors, bankers and estate agents without losing her mind. Buying and selling property I have found to be an especially painful process.
On tv, radio and online there has been a lot of unhappiness this week relating to a number of things such as the government announcement that they’re changing the funding model of the BBC. Spikey arguments have ensued, understandably as this is a biggie, another Brexit-level are you in or are you out scenario where no-one has any real clue what the changes will really look and feel like. Furious, angry debate over large-scale change isn’t proof of unhappiness, but it’s part of a pattern showing a divided, polarised community. Sometimes it feels like we’re living in this big, dysfunctional family where the grown-ups continually argue about everything from Whats for tea? to whether dad’s going to move out into the shed permanently. A fair amount of media content consists of people squabbling and disagreeing - on soap operas, dating shows, talent contests, Twitter, the news - it’s everywhere!
Are there any common themes emerging here? I’ve been watching the Netflix series Squid Game this week, a show with a fascinating concept based around fairness and equality and the hell that can be day-to-day survival in a harsh world. It seems to me that too many changes and decisions are made based on the wrong question. Instead of asking “what will make us happier?” the question is too often “what will save us money?”, “what will make our resources operate more efficiently” or “What will make us more profit?”
Among the many complaints and gripes I’ve overheard this week (and oh, ok I’ll be honest, I have heard myself moaning too) there was one stand-out moment of positivity. I visited a friend who not long ago had a life-changing stroke. She has come through so much and every day is a fresh challenge of adapting and pushing through physical and physiological hurdles. I was amazed and inspired when she told me that despite not being able to do many things that previously were easy, she focuses on the positives, the things she is able to do, on pushing herself each day to get exercise, build strength, learn afresh and move forwards. I hugged my friend and felt a wave of massive gratitude and pride in her. Happiness can sometimes be found in the places you expect it least. I’m hoping (though not hopeful) that Squid Game and the BBC saga have happy endings …. and not the kind the guys used to joke about at work! There again as a realist I’m not expecting too much. Have a great week ahead and hopefully we can tap into some happiness and positivity in amongst it all.
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